Weighing in at a staggering 14,000 pounds, the African elephant is the largest land animal on Earth and a living battering ram wrapped in two-inch-thick hide. Capable of flipping cars and toppling trees on a whim, its intelligence rivals that of primates—complete with mourning rituals and long-term memory. Cross one and it will remember your face forever.

Don't let the pudgy appearance fool you—the hippopotamus is widely considered the most dangerous large animal in Africa, killing more humans annually than lions, leopards, and crocodiles combined. Its massive jaws open to a terrifying 180-degree angle and generate 1,800 PSI of bite force through foot-long canine teeth. At 4,000 pounds, it can outrun most humans on land and is absurdly agile in water.